i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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