just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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