at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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