it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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