So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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