You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize