so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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