he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
