I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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