Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize