just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
