I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
