Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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