Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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