Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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