i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
