We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
