somebody snuck up and got me drunk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
