yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
