she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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