is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this boner is exhausting
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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