I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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