I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
