I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
