How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
