we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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