she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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