What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
