Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
