I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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