____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
