I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
