I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
