ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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