soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
operation have a gay friend backfired
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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