i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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