Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize