I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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