its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Everything about him screamed your future.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she told me i tasted like america
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He has the fingertips of a God
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
