Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Damn victory sex feels great
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize