Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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