she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
tell me about the fingering
Randomize