I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
