That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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