Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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