you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
