this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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