All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
