While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
