Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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