Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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