Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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