I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
