I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
