I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize