Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
