I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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