You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
