guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
