Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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