Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
