Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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